79. It is a cold day today

I want to be as assured as
Emily.
To say, each day, “This is
who I am;
I am not afraid of existing
alone –
I have something to
say – ”

Me,
I am insecure,
lonely,
vulnerable,
Seeking the empty world
yet disenchanted.
I have grown sick of
these robust, certain paths,

but I do not like wandering:
I would maybe have preferred
never to have encountered the
happy follies,
else I am always watching
out my slanted window,
desiring, yearning
for things that never
satisfy me, only
show me how
different I
am,
and must
be.