69. Paging Dr. Freud

I think it was in 8th grade
when my English teacher noticed
I leave out “that” a lot.
It is not really an error, she told me,
but it isn’t entirely correct
either.

I still find this in my writing today:
I wonder if it is some bizarre
Freudian slip.
The more I think about it,
the harder it is to gather what
its significance
is.

At least now I know what to look for,
specifically; though I am finding
I forget even sometimes
to check for this
omission –

I have lost so many things,
but perhaps you cannot really
lose what you never had.
I think maybe I
am a little envious:
I feel I should have had the
normalcy, the happiness,
the security others have.

So maybe,
Dr. Freud,
that is why I am always
missing these “that’s”,
and those “that’s”.

But what do you know, sitting
in that chair,
in this office,
about me?
I am always reclaiming,
recovering,
and you are always
collecting, collecting
fees, fees.