Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

194. street cars and cereal


you have gone to bed, yet I –

Bohemian, self-employed, non-essential

munch on Raisin Bran much too

late for a midnight snack, too early

for breakfast:

 

Winston Churchill’s high school

gazes back, orange LED blinking at

the late-night drivers criss-crossing

On the dwindling asphalt strips

 

Shopper’s is long abandoned, no longer

open 24 hours; so is

the Community Centre, though I

recall our first summer you let me

ride your new e-bike –

ever-klutzy, I had bumps and bruises

from start-and-stop turns that

were not so successful

though you –

drove home from the bike store

on your first

try –

 

early in the summer we once crossed

through the park behind, stuffed full

from a buffet back

when you had plenty leftover before

paying rent

alone

 

teenagers no longer

circle round the crescent

of the schoolyard nor do

yellow buses line in a row of

metallic rectangle ducks

 

hard crunch and soft

mush and Vivaldi

from the living room

and the sounds of

swishing cars and

trucks on

Lawrence Ave –

 

bars of the light extinguish as I

close mosquito netting and old teal

drapes on the school

 

as Winston Churchill’s namesake watches me

join you in the bedroom,

hallway lights clicking quiet:

LEDs blink last

month’s messages, waiting for

mornings full of students that no

longer

come.

 


11 mai 2020

Scarborough, ON

Monday, August 27, 2018

190. To the pregnant woman

To the pregnant woman that
missed the
Grand River Transit
bus 7B to Fairview
Park:

I didn't realize you
just missed the
bus I just
left:

by the time I
realized, you were
running after it,
desperate:
did the driver not
realize either?

your dark skin
glistening in the
hot summer air,
late for an interview
or from one?

I wanted to offer a
ride, I thought as I
already started back to my
apartment, and you
were already walking
to the next
stop.

Stay put, I want to
say - the next bus
will be
by in a few
minutes - (I
check this later,
for my own
conscience)

I want to tell you
this,
too -

but I was tired and
sweaty and
wanted to
get home
myself -

selfish or just
a missed
opportunity, I
wondered, and
still
do;
with a
twinge of
regret and guilt
as I write this,
hoping.

August 21, 2018
Waterloo, ON

189. The hours between

You have been asleep for hours -
three and a half,
approximately.

Here
I am:
not anxious (a
welcome surprise
)

the night is though,
I hear an occasional
car and a distant
party rumbling
incessantly;

I am reading
emails and
Instagram comments,
half-aware of the
black-and-white episode
of "What's My Line"
playing
at my left
nightstand.

I am at peace;
I could drift off at
any point, half-
conscious;

and it is not
that I have too much to do,
but I revel in my
Bohemian nocturne
as I squeeze the
last drop
of possible waking.

I briefly fantasize of a
day job
where I earn
a decent salary, benefits,
2 paid weeks off -
the thought! -

where I wake and sleep
at the same two times
every
single
day - the
horror!

Such a regular life,
such a square
existence.
And I did have a taste -
for three months
teaching Grade 12 chemistry
to six
teens who will
grow up to
do the
same:

I leave the
regular hours to
you:
waking, sleeping, and
otherwise:

as I spend these
pensive few
dark ones,
brooding, contemplating,
creating.

Living solo
for just a few
more
moments.

Aug 15, 2018
Waterloo, ON

Friday, November 10, 2017

184. 2/3 Oranges

You are peeling the
orange
I have given you

The director
has my attention,
but my mind
follows the segments
torn, ligament
by
ligament.

The dressing room is
a circle of
smiling bodies...

Notes are done:

You are already
leaving;

All I see is your
backpack
out the
navy blue
door.

From the
hindsight of the future
you will
later thank me
for this
little
orange, but

as you sing your
aria do you
remember
the tender hand
which has
fed you?

Aug 6, 2017
Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

177. Stubble on Adonis

The Magic of a
Body
is
self-made

lifting,
cardio,
jumping
rope;

so the stage is
also
craft:

sforzando,
cantabile,
da capo al
fine:

words and terms
and
counting
calories:

yet why is
magic
Magical?

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

172. Meninas

Las Meninas, Diego Velázquez (1656)
Museo del Prado, Madrid

Slanted
sits the
artwork: physical
body hidden
in a
temperature-controlled
vault-laboratory
hybrid thing;
exhumed to the present day,
mounted and dissected,
eyes observing,
dissecting;
essays
hum;
editors scramble furiously on the
Wikipedia
page...

Backing away,
curtain falls
as the
chamberlain
clears the exit

Two girls awkwardly caught
half-sentence in
curtsies, well
one –
the other still
unawares,
el búcaro outstretched
from her imploring
arms, fingers of
one curled in
mid-
persuasion

Despite her mourning
garb
the
guardian chatters
animatedly with the
guard, name
lost to
exclusive seats of
history

mumbling,
bumbling,
buzzing mutely:
as Two imported dwarves
form spectacle, one
obviously teasing the
peeved dog,
the other remarkably
solemn,
questioning.

Nineteen years and one
wife
separate the uncle from his
niece,
her arm tucked
protectively around
his?

The artist
rests: self-
portrait,
photograph?
Paint drops speckle his
boots in
real
time

Time ticks:
ribbons like
captive
wildflower
flare on the
alabaster plains;
ethereal, the
five-year-old
serenely gazes into
eternity

Bent knees
hover expectantly,
silk rustling, mute

Centrepiece, she
stands:
the business
frozen, betraying the
Purpose;
yet faces glisten,
inquiring,
else incoherent
of the
Moment:

The high
green-brown
panels silently
concur,
stolid,
enigmatic,
slumbering with the
weight of
centuries

Emptied,
its physical forbearer since perished,
imagination and
interpretation can only resurrect

Quiet,
the
noon
buzzes…

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

170. Crabmeat

Scuttling over,
puts my hands on her
waist

“Breathe.”

We do so together.

Master and
novice,
experience seeping
through her
pores to
mine.

“Feel the depth of the
breath, it can
colour our
phrases
too.”

Soft flesh,
ancient and novel;
polyester fibres
crinkly and
taupe

As I am
processing,
understanding; we
breathe,
feeling the
depth,
discovering the
beginning

Thursday, June 5, 2014

168. Cattle through the Peepholes

circles:
blinking eyes
beyond,
eyelashes long and
golden, dusty;
flies
interspersed

still yet
moving,
inches become
miles,
through alchemy
to kilo-
metres

skin beneath
metal,
air beneath
exhaust fumes:
and in the driver’s seat
the unthinking
be-jeaned,
be-plaid-shirted
blue collar
robot

driving,
surviving,

one eye:

glassy,
still, and
searching

Sunday, May 25, 2014

162. The Caged Rhinoceros



Robert Wiens: 1987
"Enclosure with Sections of a Horse and Soldier"
Donald Forster Sculpture Park
Guelph, Ontario, Canada
Image Source: hanneorla on Flickr

green grass
spiralling,
Spring Sun
echoing:

remnants of an
artwork lay
imprisoned in
lattice.

Jade
head
patina
skin

quiet,
waiting for
resurrection
Day,
silently sleeping
dormant;

Rest, oh
Dinosaur, ancient
and new,
dappled shadows
tattooing agèd
limbs

shadows of
leaves
mutely
caressing
scattered
               beauty

Friday, May 23, 2014

161. 6 Cubicles

I.
Dark amber:
disfigured, wilted
chrysanthemums drift
swirling, smiling,
half drunk
in the
half-drunk tea.
(lips still
stain the
porcelain rim
with DNA)

Deep green:
drops rest,
suspended; silent;
strown across
paths to
a docile
pouring spoon:
[BENZODIAZEPINE HYDROCHLORIDE
the dark
words read
upon the
clear white
label canvas;
plastic bottle
mutely glistening

Cheap silver:
chocolate toonies
dollar store
trinkets and
Monopoly
                 pieces

Red & Blazing:
computer logos
company slogans
chant like
mantras on
the forlorn
desktop,
haunting the
lack of
space, the
unoccupied, empty
ergonomic
                chair –

2.

Photos:
Mommy & Me
stuck
all over on
mottled
construction
paper,
grainy
If you pay attention you can
see the pulpy
wood fibres

There is a Mother’s
Day poem pasted on a
pink teapot,
carefully cut by eager fingers of
a five-and-three-quarters-year-old,
pencil markings denoting where
the stencil once
lay -
still intact:

Mom’s hair is
angry purple,
she’s much too
young, she should still
by sipping margaritas
sleepless Friday nights at
the nightclub,
fratboys still buying her
Tequila,
flattered:
I’m 30 ;)

III.
A Family of Five:
Three Noses similar,
distributed as such;
Eyes squinting at the sun
as Florida divides:

The pack of smiling Mice:
The Mom & Son are not;
Oh, 20 hours long
does not bode well for kids –
The Preteen Hormone Price.

Three graduations framed:
One Kindergarten grad,
One junior high, one High;
the Eldest in “That Phase”:
Much Angst, as God Ordained.

IV.

Polish greets:
ł, sz, ć –

Pierogi, Kielbasa,
soups, Zrazy,
cabbage rolls;
recipes in
jargon,
we trust makes
feast
depicted each
month.

reminders of old
country,
Happier
, less? –

5

CATHY
on a brazen blue
background
didn’t have her
sexy Latin
name
I guess

faux license plate
letters raised and white
cacti mixed with
pink desert
flower

sheets and
trinkets: souvenirs
to make a magpie
jealous,
totally

Coconut Palm
Cashmere Sheen,
mmm…
“for silky smooth skin”
glitter shimmers in the
frosty lilac-
musky – dusky –
mauve-ish –
bouteilles

Pictures from the wedding:
Frog Eyes Husband

slightly chunky for the
white wedding
dress,
green grass,
black tux:
everything was just
SOOO perfect,
OMG
espesh
our
Carib
honeymoon
                  getaway

Ooh
Caribou calendar:
fun facts sprinkle
the months like little
taunts

Did you know?
      Did you know?
            Did you know?

Nature,
science,
seasides, and
Canada

Shut up.

VI.

half-abandoned
plant
experiments
yearn toward the
asphalt:

Burrito Nacho Man
with a grayish
Sombrero, action
figures betraying
bad humour and
bad taste

half-eaten
chip bag
partly stale

Mm, sour cream and
onion
flavor

funny
how the mind turns
criminal
in such
stillness

half-
experiments
yearn
towards: - ?

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

158. BUBBLE

For whom?

do the
hollow shelves
wait

the dusky
archives and
yellowed
magazines
beckon –

The
ants still
mill about,
carts rolling,
volumes flitting
back
upon
shelves;

Frictionless
vacuums
where
children
play

algorithms and
formulae
[formulas?] and
conservation of
energy &
mass and
momentum;

acceleration,
inclined planes and
laws of
Newton:

Silence on the floor,
despite the
creaking of
cubicles,
clicking of
lights,
buzzing of
4-year-old
Sony
Vaios…

Monday, May 12, 2014

152. Mr. Turtle

In my ignorant
youth,
swirling,
beaming –
catch its eye:

almost
shallow,
modern, and
unassuming,
I pause,
frightened by its
shrunken, wretched
face.

Pity, disgust
contort my
face,
I am no longer
smiling, unless
a trace still lingers,
body a step
behind
            -

Glasses,
hat and scarf
shades of
beige and
fudgy
grey

skin wrinkled,
eyes scrutinize,
wary, weary, and
beady:
shocked, I am
entering the washroom,
and – it –
the
elevator.

Familiarity dawns –
English? Philosophy?
He once taught me
Philosophy,
nearly died halfway
through the
course
because of
medication issues;
has a strange attraction
to Nietzsche
and Beethoven –

Half-disgusted with
myself, to be
repulsed by change
and old age and
academic
exhaustion –

I feel ugly,
sad, though, I
admit –
he was never all
that
good-looking:

It was that moment’s
gaze, of
fear and
confusion and –
bewilderment –

at my…
youth?
my warmth?
my candor? –

that gets me,
as if my joy and
energy
are
an insult,
a flaunt,
a – taunt –

Sorry, but I will not
apologize, (I
think) –
but I feel
guilty and afraid.

Please God,
let me never
become so
cynical and
insecure;
Botox takes away
the wrinkles,
but it
cannot erase
the
age.

Friday, May 31, 2013

145. Shirley

R.I.P. Shirley Verrett
(May 31, 1931 – November 5, 2010)

Teetering in at
half-past-ten,
old Shirley
appears –

shopping bag draped over
one arm, pink jacket
dotted in faux
crystals:

rolling my eyes,
I grin over at
Mark at the
shelves,
stocking;

Shirley has caught
as victim some
helpless mother,
baby slung over her
front side:

she is being assaulted with
ornery small talk
interspersed
with
diva-tales –

I’m not quite sure
(half-the time)
if most of these are
true;

sometimes it all seems
so wonderful
I think she’s
senile;
or maybe lives like this
existed:

Carmen, Normas,
Ebolis; her latest
unruly
soprano –
some language I don’t
quite
understand,
standing here in my
green-and-white
grocer’s uniform

puzzled, and
perplexed.

Friday, January 4, 2013

126. Callas Cries


So tired –
it is past anyone’s
logical bedtime

The crowd is still
cheering
the cast and crew
all
jubilant

I am so tired

Tired of E-flats
and flute cadenzas and
blood-soaked
gowns

I am tired of this
migrant
life,
receptions,
recitals,
rehearsals,

(Hear how the
audience roars –)

I missed a word tonight
in the duet with
Edgardo,
ran out of breath in the
mad scene…

Audiences hear
what they want to
hear:
success is in their
eager
hands

Roars of lions
today
jeers and boos
tomorrow –
what is success?

I failed today,
I could have done
better;
I can always do
better –
is it all absolute?
Is it just
subjective?

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

124. Infinite Possibility

Amidst these grayscale skeletons
the mysteries of life are
solvable

Entwining voices, produced of
searching fingers,
dancing, inextricable

Counterpoint and
imitation, sequences
up and
down;
modulations,
stretto,
Tierce de
Picardie

Predictable,
inexplicable!

A mortal
who,
inspired by some grand
device
set forth these
mystic harmonies and
countersubjects

How small we
are,
fumbling with a simple
fugue, one
of a
lethal oeuvre
none can quite
explain!

Friday, December 21, 2012

120. Bell A23C

As all good actors,
I act so well I forget
the role:

All of a sudden, I
abandon self and
reclaim you.

Only after the
trance I look,
disgusted at myself.

Copy of a copy,
designed artificiality:

false grain repeating on
false planks of wood;
modems glowing in their
green domains,

chanting mutely in the winter breeze

We are all the same
only I am clever enough to
copy, copy
for I am too afraid to
disrupt this elaborate,
sickening
suffocation

for I
must

Thursday, December 20, 2012

119. Erythrocytes

A moment’s sadness
evaporates,
clouded by the empty joys of
life.

Humans are pliable,
elastic.
This is what we do to
survive.

Words are immobile

Let me never die
obsolete;
let this moment of
desperation echo,
echo through days,
years, and if I presume
haughtiness,
the centuries:

Let some naïve student
encounter such a pristine,
eternal ode to
regret and
remorse,

knowing it is beautiful
to weep, and that
poet’s tears are worth
nothing in private
silence,
yet untold
millions in the hands of
invisible
spectators.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

118. Indictment

I do not understand my
gift;
judgement makes all
relative,
relevant.

All seems
bland and
weary.
Child’s enchantments
revealed as
empty.

I am happy though I am
sad
Smiling though I’m
crying;
Callous, wry, and witty
when all I feel is
hurt.

So many disappointments,
so I have learned the game:
I can play too:
let us both
say empty things

only you mean them,
and I invent them.
Quicker the lies are said
that I may retire,
observing how alone I am,
remarking the silent absurdity
of my worthless life
somehow so exalted by my
ego that

it must awake again
each day,
to produce, create;
to hope
and regret.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

116. Zerbinetta

Callous, cold,
and full of spite:
degenerate, the
courtesan is teasing
once again…

We were all of us
Ariadne,
pining after one such
demigod

Retired
to a life of trickery, cheap wine, and
heroin:
they are all the same,
one after another,
wicked,
implacable.

It is a life of
hard tales,
lost hopes, and
splintered dreams.

Yes,
some are meant to
saunter aimlessly on a
ridiculous pedestal,
Emilia Marty in her
39th century, gazing over
blazing lights
into an audience who is
not there.

Friday, October 5, 2012

112. Miss Anonymous

Cold cement,
scaffolding and
C. Dior.

Passersby
race by quickly,
unamused:

plaintive eyes
penetrate air,
dazed and mute.

Straightened, teased;
chemicals and
strange shampoos:

Turquoise eyes;
nude lips and brows,
pallid skin.

Gawky limbs
rendered comely
instantly

Alien,
frozen, timeless,
pondering:

Stamped upon
cardboard billboards
ten feet long

here, beneath
the apartment
complexes.

Coming soon:
promises are
beckoning;

autumn leaves
swirl and simmer
recklessly.