Tuesday, June 9, 2020

194. street cars and cereal


you have gone to bed, yet I –

Bohemian, self-employed, non-essential

munch on Raisin Bran much too

late for a midnight snack, too early

for breakfast:

 

Winston Churchill’s high school

gazes back, orange LED blinking at

the late-night drivers criss-crossing

On the dwindling asphalt strips

 

Shopper’s is long abandoned, no longer

open 24 hours; so is

the Community Centre, though I

recall our first summer you let me

ride your new e-bike –

ever-klutzy, I had bumps and bruises

from start-and-stop turns that

were not so successful

though you –

drove home from the bike store

on your first

try –

 

early in the summer we once crossed

through the park behind, stuffed full

from a buffet back

when you had plenty leftover before

paying rent

alone

 

teenagers no longer

circle round the crescent

of the schoolyard nor do

yellow buses line in a row of

metallic rectangle ducks

 

hard crunch and soft

mush and Vivaldi

from the living room

and the sounds of

swishing cars and

trucks on

Lawrence Ave –

 

bars of the light extinguish as I

close mosquito netting and old teal

drapes on the school

 

as Winston Churchill’s namesake watches me

join you in the bedroom,

hallway lights clicking quiet:

LEDs blink last

month’s messages, waiting for

mornings full of students that no

longer

come.

 


11 mai 2020

Scarborough, ON

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

193. Victoria Park, July


Darren P. (Oct 12, 2013)

your eyes
glow gold
in the summer
sunshine

your smile
as warm as
Canadian
midsummer
can be

by the river
watching
swans and
children
play

time so
slow
and the
air so
sweet

even then
I’m not sure
I realized the beauty of
such a moment

simple,
wondrous

as you are

as we are

gold glints
shining in summer
sunbeams,
beaming
brilliant

March 21, 2020
Montréal, QC

192. sonneries de la STM


ding
ding
ding

light
green flashes in the
wintry dark lit
artificial by the
pasty
metro
lights

beep
beep
beep

go the sleeping
passengers

one by one

three by three

through the
turnstile

gates

March 21, 2020
Montréal, QC

191. Marius à Javert


hours & minutes

après minuit,
your call
dings
several times in my
barely lit
apartment

smiling in spite of myself –
I check and answer
other messages,
stalling before I answer yours
yet –
out of fear, and

excitement

the purple & white
square
glows sunset amidst
notifications

I check the little litany of
messages
once,
twice,
thrice -
still in
queenly
defiance

your photos
illuminate my screen
once more –
I imagine us together
by that twilit
lake, your
dark eyes smiling
into
mine

the first
touch of your
tender yet
strong
hand

hours –
minutes –
past midnight
I am ablaze and
afire with
pangs of new love?
infatuation?

or is it precisely
the mystery
that keeps us –
me –
enthralled?

is it simply
friendship you want?
my own crazed
heart spinning
imaginations and
prophetic
fantasies?

I think of at the love
my partner
and I
share

finally, a
deep and
trusting bond
safe and perhaps
not so
intoxicating

isn’t all love
a thrill at first?
perhaps I only seek
these virtual
sparks
which will always
dissipate

I muse on
love and
faith
in the darkness,
on options

and time seems
such a feeble
foe
to
intensity

buzz
buzz

goes my
phone in the
dark

beckoning,
taunting

innocent
conversation,

I tell

myself

April 24, 2020
Montréal, QC

Monday, August 27, 2018

190. To the pregnant woman

To the pregnant woman that
missed the
Grand River Transit
bus 7B to Fairview
Park:

I didn't realize you
just missed the
bus I just
left:

by the time I
realized, you were
running after it,
desperate:
did the driver not
realize either?

your dark skin
glistening in the
hot summer air,
late for an interview
or from one?

I wanted to offer a
ride, I thought as I
already started back to my
apartment, and you
were already walking
to the next
stop.

Stay put, I want to
say - the next bus
will be
by in a few
minutes - (I
check this later,
for my own
conscience)

I want to tell you
this,
too -

but I was tired and
sweaty and
wanted to
get home
myself -

selfish or just
a missed
opportunity, I
wondered, and
still
do;
with a
twinge of
regret and guilt
as I write this,
hoping.

August 21, 2018
Waterloo, ON

189. The hours between

You have been asleep for hours -
three and a half,
approximately.

Here
I am:
not anxious (a
welcome surprise
)

the night is though,
I hear an occasional
car and a distant
party rumbling
incessantly;

I am reading
emails and
Instagram comments,
half-aware of the
black-and-white episode
of "What's My Line"
playing
at my left
nightstand.

I am at peace;
I could drift off at
any point, half-
conscious;

and it is not
that I have too much to do,
but I revel in my
Bohemian nocturne
as I squeeze the
last drop
of possible waking.

I briefly fantasize of a
day job
where I earn
a decent salary, benefits,
2 paid weeks off -
the thought! -

where I wake and sleep
at the same two times
every
single
day - the
horror!

Such a regular life,
such a square
existence.
And I did have a taste -
for three months
teaching Grade 12 chemistry
to six
teens who will
grow up to
do the
same:

I leave the
regular hours to
you:
waking, sleeping, and
otherwise:

as I spend these
pensive few
dark ones,
brooding, contemplating,
creating.

Living solo
for just a few
more
moments.

Aug 15, 2018
Waterloo, ON

Thursday, July 5, 2018

188. harbour dining


August:
and the seagulls
circle

smiling ship-sails
rest their
contented wings

scavenging above the
sapphire-strewn
surface,
cackling, boasting,
gossiping

children shriek
and call their
hungry
friends,
beckoning with strips of partly-eaten
lettuce from
lunch's ham
sandwich

sparkled concrete
blazes my
heat-soaked
toes;

gulls comingle with
assuming toddlers,
planes take-off of
life off,
unseeing

glistening, the water
hums and
whirs,
silver sapphire
in the
waning
sun.




July 3, 2018
Waterloo, ON

Friday, June 29, 2018

187. A Love - Backwards

Ari I
Scene: Toronto Music Garden


In the green-dappled
shade; purple, yellow,
pink dots
flower the
foliage.

We wind the circle of
the Bach dance
and pause in the
quiet centre.

Only birds rustle
as you pull me in and
kiss me:
"I can be romantic, too"
you say, as I
smilingly acknowledge
its truth.

Well-played

despite your uncouth
tongue and
penchant for
alcohol; I
remember this
first kiss and your
last,
its opening charm
and beauty so
unexpected
and clever.

Ari II
Scene: City Hall

City hall bench
finds us sitting in the
merciful shade
Kids in wisely light-coloured
T-shirts scream and chase each
other 'round sculptures of brains.
Just earlier we wound our
way around them, reading
the artists' reasons why
each one had a different
design.

The big, winding staircase
winds,
above and around us;
cool, stony
on its underside.
We are
listening
and you draw yourself
close to me,
calves grazing beyond our summer shorts.
You like me, I
can tell;
I smile at the thought.
It's been so long
someone has wanted to be near me,
to see through my eyes
and inhabit my
oxygen.
I revel in our
mutual presence
as we silently
flaunt our homo
love
amidst the breeders
with their
shrieking
tweens.

Ari III
Scene: Richmond Towers

Only breezes
shush the netting of the
window mesh;
a sliver smiles
through the half-opened
drape

early birds have not
yet began their day;
an occasional vehicle is the remnant of the
night's
activity:
your breath grazes me
dew-spun neck,
kisses trimming its
trembling surface

You:
selfish, steal my
dormant body;
I -
half-sleeping,
gazing out the tapestry's
small-squares

selfish, smiling in
my gloating beauty,
desired, embraced,
entwined, at
last.

June 28, 2018
Waterloo, ON

Sunday, November 12, 2017

186. 3/4

I. A Library

It is the 2
of us:
china in the cabinet,
glasses on the side
playing house
in a borrowed
home.

You carefully
place olives, blue cheese,
and sundried tomatoes
on the
pasta sauce-slewn
bread.

We are eating.
You are talking of your
faithless
ex,
pink T-
shirt.

And I in a pink
tank-top.

Borrowed:

The room,
the plates,
the shirt,

and me.

On loan,
copy 2,
special archives.
Books do not
feel.

II. A Window

It is dark
and you
take the blanket off the
curtain rod

mesh separates us
and the
humming night

you want to see me,
you keep saying

but the light is too
harsh
we both
know

we kiss
in darkness

I tremble as I
melt in your assured
embraces,
helpless

as you reassure
and whisper
and pause to see
if I am
all
right

this is
care, I
think

this is
love

your lips on mine,
praising me.
I am so
desired in this moment,
so beautiful, so
divine.

A demigod has
discovered me
and thirsts for
me.
What must
I
be?

III. An Omelette

Chestnut lashes,
chestnut eyes,
chestnut locks:

I see you know
in the early
light

you see me see
you,
smile, and
return to sleep

you know your
power

we split an
omelette
four
ways

one for her,
one for you,
and
one for
me.

The fourth we
split between us,
like an
afterthought.

I sit next to
you on your
couch.
Our legs graze.

Your attention is already
on your
phone.

We have no
service

Aug 6, 2017
Halifax, NS

Saturday, November 11, 2017

185. My Shoulder

As we laugh
and joke of stupid
things -
your tousled hair leans on my
shoulder.

I was recovering from the
awkward lack of
conversation
earlier in the
bar

so I am taken
by
surprise

I graze your arm,
hesitantly.

Your breath
smells of
cider

(I know
later on
it's also
halitosis)

You are a
puppy

I had no choice
but to sit, stunned,
silent

night continues swishing
past the
muggy
car windows

Aug 6, 2017
Halifax, NS

Friday, November 10, 2017

184. 2/3 Oranges

You are peeling the
orange
I have given you

The director
has my attention,
but my mind
follows the segments
torn, ligament
by
ligament.

The dressing room is
a circle of
smiling bodies...

Notes are done:

You are already
leaving;

All I see is your
backpack
out the
navy blue
door.

From the
hindsight of the future
you will
later thank me
for this
little
orange, but

as you sing your
aria do you
remember
the tender hand
which has
fed you?

Aug 6, 2017
Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS

Monday, July 17, 2017

183. Coro a bocca chiusa















All their mouths are
closed
to me:

final wisps of daylight
stroke their weary
eyes -
mother to son, to
daughter -

now is their sleeping
time;
halls long
devoid of footsteps
in their echoing
bellies

closed
to me:
wandering down their
silent paths -
birds muttering in the
dying
day -

closed to me -
a language only
cedars
know:
rustling in the twilit air:
rustling lullabies to passersby
who believe themselves
awake -


https://thevisionaryfolkphotographer.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/glow-dalhousieuniv_4191.jpg?w=810


https://thevisionaryfolkphotographer.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/glow-dalhousieuniv_4282.jpg?w=810

July 16, 2017
Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS

Thursday, June 22, 2017

182. Squirrel Nest

Scurrying across the plushy cotton,
sole observer of the field:
tiny tracks the only small reminder,
almost undetectable -

Darting up the gnarly bark -
swift & sure &
quick as night though just as dark -
sylvan ninja

Up the lattice now -
Branches sway,
Fingers in the wind;
Ropes of wood

Little nest of rotting leaves and soot:
how imperfect!
Slip you in your qui-ver-ing burrow -
quick as ever!

You in yours and I in mine;
Shi-ver-ing despite your fur?
Nestled snug within your home -
all is just irrelevant!

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

181. Torontonian Months

Sushi without
fish and
water without
ice!

Lessons back-to-
back and lessons just
alone;

Sweat and smiles and
suitcases and
backpacks -

birthdays and
cards and
Australia and
San
Francisco -

restaurants and
catching
up:

new friends and
old ones -
new buildings and
old -

smoke and homeless and
pizza and
LV:
these are the sights and sounds and
smells!

Monday, April 24, 2017

180. Part-Time Torontonian

i am
yet a
stranger,
tourist -
             visitor!

without your hand in mine,
it is all still magic and
miracle to
me!

the bustle, the
people, the
music, and
the
food!

But how it was nicest,
your hand in mine -

The fresh
breeze
in the October, bright-lit
city -

Breath entangled in
eager bliss!!

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

179. Love Betwixt Cities

Give me your eyes
and I’ll give you
mine –

Give me your love
and I’ll give you
mine –

Give you my heart
and you’ll take
mine - !

Give me your heart
and I’ll give you
mine!

These are what the
streetcars
sing…!

Saturday, November 5, 2016

178. Torontonian for a Year

 

I am
full
of
goodbyes –

you
are full of
                 none!

I
  take

one
photograph for
posterity

in the room where
I would lay
wrapped with
you, early
mornlight
shadowing our
blind-checked
hearts

This –
room:
where once I played you
simple
Satie
while it rained outside,
and you were designing;

home of so many tears and
smiles and
ecstasies
and pains –

today I walk past
the apartment:
you are no longer
here, but here I
am,

waiting,
thinking,
remembering.

Strangers walk
by;
the time is long
past-

and yet the phantoms of a
desk, a bed, a bookshelf
                                       linger...

do buildings
                     stir
hearts?

Where was
yours?

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

177. Stubble on Adonis

The Magic of a
Body
is
self-made

lifting,
cardio,
jumping
rope;

so the stage is
also
craft:

sforzando,
cantabile,
da capo al
fine:

words and terms
and
counting
calories:

yet why is
magic
Magical?

Thursday, September 1, 2016

176. Toronto Half-Life

sketches of a relationship between _______

I – јабука

Beauty is a liquid gold –

The sun is
on you or –
you
are
the sun!

Gilt, your
silver hairs
glisten, caught like
rare riches
in a sea of ebony – every
marble Hercules
and god
incarnated.

my fingers burn
at the
paper
cup;
tongue burns
at the
apple
brew

I have nowhere
but to
melt,
gold glistening
everywhere,

You
Alone
shine
with its
molten glow - !

II - ноћ

breath crystallized in
the crisp, late
night:
ears still ring
with chords and
trills and
fioratura - mine,
at least –

Light meets
window;
glass meets
the
eyes:

Feet crunch on the
carpet;
soft as the
grudging
snow:

keys -

checks for
company –

it’s dark out the
window, but
lights poke the
tender
sky;

I am seeing,
seeing:
couch, table,
television;

there’s a
hallway,

and there are
rooms:

there is a
computer and a
swivelly chair and
a mattress with
a wolf blanket,
it’s mildly juvenile,
but
adorable –

embarrassed, expectant –
I’m not sure how I
should respond –

he has prickly pins
blacking out at
me

I ask to kiss him

he blinks,
bewildered, surprised
as we meet
eyes
again

like an animal,
a toddler, seeing for the
first time:
this adorable
mountain of a
man

I am moving,
shifting already

The lips linger on
me, until it
forms in speech:

in that moment
your petulant eyes
implore me to stay

and yet the
briefness, chasteness
of those hushed and
starry-eyed, unhurried moments
haunts
me

warmed me
in that still slowly blossoming spring

snow did not cover

the barefaced
sidewalk

we walked in
silence, the
lamplights smiling

two figures
splotching their
pristine
path –

III - јутро

From 21 stories high,
they form a
metropolitan fugue
below:
a sea of swishing
Doppler effects,
a griddle of frying
vehicles –

The tender spring sun
pours onto my
curious skin:
light pours on
everything –
the buildings, the
people, the
roads:

still amongst the
weekend traffic,
breakfast
sounds from the other
room:

frying, cutting,
tinkling,
splashing –

footsteps plod toward:

they slow as they reach me

and with your eyes,
glancing over an
already tried and
familiar
view,

mine –
fervent, young
join years,
and we walk together,
sun over everything –
the cups, the plates, the
cutlery,
as we smile,
and
eat.

IV - плажа

Blaring from the
studded sea:
yachts aflame with
spinning bodies,
booming pop;

it is a scene from
Michael’s Marble Shop gone
wrong: rejects
happly tanning in the
breeze

photo-strown,
his perfect specimen
lies before
me

he smiles,
not of joy, not of
mirth –

of self-
satisfaction

seagulls squawk the
brazen azure
canopy,
the fizzing beer
laughs below;
photos kiss my
dewy skin –

magnetized:
I cannot

look away
from –

you are opening your
perfect, perfect
mouth –
a word
forms – !

V - Зелен

My mind in
yours:

Hand,
smooth as marble and
warm as the
hearth;
black prickles kiss my
tender
skin –

in the darkness,
the dull
thudding of the
green-and-white
rustles through the
night

we aren’t alone,
but very well as may be:

our muted whispers
dissolve into contented silence, listening
to our few neighbours,
their
moonlit chatter
evaporating
in favour of our
bliss in shared tenderness,
two hands
in harmony, in
unison.

I lean towards you:
I am loved,
safe.

VI - сив

Air thick with
pungent, stifling
gas;

pigeons lick
splattered oil spots
on splotchy asphalt

sometimes sun
glistens on the
buildings
nearby

sometimes we are
grateful the rain exists
outside the
terminal
boundary;

so many hours of
lungs
filling with
cubes of noxious
fumes; time spent so
mundane, so
ornery –

in a time before
and
after, it’s
strange to
be here
alone –

yet the air is
still thick
and the
pigeons lick
splattered
oil
spots;

and time treads
on, lungs
fill and
empty;
buses fill and
fill.

VII - терминал

You are

thirty million feet
away:

I try not
to touch
you

cold, calm,
and unchanged,
oxygen and
napkins lie
between us,

only –
May-time
light between is now an
autumnal grey:
and windows
eavesdrop
with corporate
glints in
tinted
eyes

When we are here again,
I turn without a
word.
I am so angry, so
proud.

I see you
saunter away through the dashboard
as usual,
lonesome and
unafraid -
it is the Last Time
we will huddle in the
fumes of the
terminal.

I yearn for
the sun-scented
oxygen of
our
shared summer,
and the quiet of your
hand in mine
in the
gentle darkness:

It has been long
since my eyes smiled
into yours so
tenderly;

these are now eyes
which know
these gold-gilt dreams
spin further backward, backward,
as I spin forward,
remembering,
in spite of
me.